Matthew 7:1-5
I want to start today with a few program notes.
Today is officially Religion and Science Sunday across the country. We plan to celebrate this year, but our speaker, Tyler Bublitz, who is coming from Bemidji is better able to come next week. So join us next Sunday for a consideration of Religion, Science and the Common Good.
This coming Wednesday is both Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday. Both are important days in the calendar. We’ve found that attendance at an Ash Wednesday service at Family of God is so small that it’s hard to do a meaningful worship service, so we won’t be having a service here. But every larger Lutheran and Catholic church in town will be having a service and I encourage you to attend one of those if this is a day which speaks to your heart.
Folks have been asking me what sermon or study series I’m doing for Lent, which begins on Wednesday. Most of you know that the traditional understanding of Lent isn’t my favorite. Lent concentrates on penitence, or being honest about what’s wrong with us, so we can celebrate new life more enthusiastically on Easter. I’m in favor of being honest about our need to be more aware of the needs of the world and how we contribute to those so we can be more intentional about bringing new life to broken places. I’m not in favor of setting aside six weeks to focus on what’s wrong with us. I prefer that we be honest about how both good and bad mingle in everyday life all the time, that we do our best to be more informed and more self-reflective, and that we celebrate how God’s love works in us and through us always, bringing life to the world.
That said, we ARE in the middle of a learning series. Last year we learned about the early church and how in a variety of ways Jesus Communities tried to live by his teachings and his example. Now I’m finding in the Gospels stories that tell us what Jesus said and did so we can think about how they inform our living in this community today.
In today’s scripture, Jesus clearly tells us not to judge others. He amplifies that by saying not to pay attention to what’s wrong with other people until after you’ve been honest about what’s wrong with you and fixed it. That’s just simple good advice for living in community.
Every group of people has to be careful not to become a group of complainers. It’s easy to see what’s wrong. If we were a church of complainers, we could say that not many people came today, the service didn’t start on time, the Christmas banners are still up in February, we sang the wrong hymns (too old or too new), the sermon was wandering, the coffee was too weak or too strong, the treats were boring, the stuff on the bulletin board was old, the books on the bookshelf hadn’t changed… Or we can say we saw some of our friends, the musicians did a valiant job of helping us sing, we heard about some interesting projects we helped with, Correen put great pictures on the front of the bulletin, and we got to linger over coffee. The exact same situation can be annoying or uplifting, depending on how we look at it.
That reality is true in marriages. Every couple goes through times when they find each other vastly irritating and times when they have a great time together. It’s true in families. The children who fight as teens become best friends in adulthood – or vice versa. It’s true in neighborhoods, community organizations, and work environments. Whenever people gather, we have a choice to look for the best or point out the worst – because both will be there.
One of the ways Jesus people infect the world for good is by lifting up what’s working rather than what’s not. The neighbor who runs a noisy leaf blower to clean the driveway every day grows beautiful dahlias. The club president who can’t run a meeting is great about welcoming new people into the group. In our own thinking and in conversation we get to choose where we’ll put the focus. Our choices change how we see the world and also how others see it.
There have been times in my life when I’ve been focused on what’s wrong and not on what’s right. The housemate with an annoying habit. A planning group going off the rails. Some of those times I’ve been lucky to have a friend who called me on it. To remind me that I was being unkind and that a lot of what was wrong was my attitude. Just having someone point out how our focus is running along a negative path can be the trigger to helping us change. When we realize what we’re doing, we can make the shift. We’re better for it – and so are those around us. It’s not easy to be the friend who points out what’s happening, but it’s a great gift to those involved.
Jesus reminds us that when we see a speck in someone’s eye – a little irritant making them see things a bit off – there is probably a log in our own. When we’re noticing what’s wrong with people or groups is a great time to take a step back and ask, “What part of this is my doing?”
Am I offending someone by the things I say or the way I say them?
Am I being kind and encouraging others?
Am I irritated by something that doesn’t really matter? Do I need to let it go?
Am I angry because not everyone wants to do this my way?
Is there something I can do to help another person be more successful?
Take minutes, make coffee, say less or more?
Is it time for me to move on?
Groups change, we change – sometimes the kindest thing I’ve done for a group is leave.
Finally, this teaching of Jesus is about group dynamics and interpersonal relationships. It’s not about public policy, criminal behavior, or major ethical standards. There are times when we need to judge behavior as wrong. The Ten Commandments tell us not to murder, lie, or steal. We make rules about how people behave in order to support the good of the community. Jesus isn’t telling us not to discern when something is harmful.
Jesus does tell us that even when we draw a line and prevent some behaviors, we still love the person involved. That’s hard: judge the action, not the person. The person is a beloved child of God and entitled to our love and care. In our country, we too often confuse the action and the actor. A person is a murderer, not someone who committed murder. A person is an addict, not someone with a harmful addiction. A person is a liberal or a conservative, not someone with particular ideas about how the world works. It takes practice to separate how we think about an action or a belief and how we feel about the person doing those things. We have to remind ourselves that they aren’t the same.
Jesus says we aren’t to judge others in ways that break down community, but he doesn’t say we can’t disagree, present alternative possibilities, or even make rules that discourage some behaviors. We can make ground rules about civility and respect and participation and expect them to be followed. We can ask our neighbor to mow their weeds and our cousin not to smoke in our house. We can enforce rules and at the same time work to stay in relationship with the people involved. It used to be that our government representatives compromised on important matters, found some common understanding and remained friends. It’s not too much to expect that they begin to do that again.
In some countries in the world people who commit crimes are put into rehabilitation. They learn what caused the crime – anger, illness, poverty, desperation – and they are given tools to act differently in the future. The actions have consequences, AND the people are valued. Those who can learn to do better are empowered to do so. Those who can’t are cared for in ways that prevent them from harming others. The actions are judged, the people are loved. We have a lot to learn from those models, which would make all our lives better.
Changing systems begins with changing people. Jesus tells us not to judge each other when we don’t have to do so. To work together to build community in which everyone thrives. When we practice this every day, it’s a gift to ourselves. Our lives are easier and more joyful. And it’s a gift to the world.