Matthew 5:27-42
Sometimes when you start a project, it takes you places you wouldn't otherwise go. You decide to clean out the garden shed and end up needing to learn how to dispose of hazardous waste.
You clean out a basement cupboard and have to learn how to sell Disney movies on Facebook. Good beginnings can sometimes lead surprising places. We're beginning a project to read again the teachings of Jesus the Gospel writers preserved for us, which brings us to today's scripture. I hardly ever set out to preach about adultery and divorce, but here we are.
Most of us read today's scripture from a 21st Century view. When we think about adultery or divorce, we think of it in the context of chosen relationships, relatively equal gender roles, and no-fault divorce. Jesus' context was arranged marriage, women as property of their fathers until they are passed to their husbands, and divorce as economic disaster for a woman and her children who have no way to support themselves without the generosity of a husband. Adultery is a crime because it steals the property of another man - his wife or daughter. Only men were allowed to request a divorce, and some scholars suggest they did so for frivolous reasons - oversalting the stew or more likely losing youthful beauty. Divorce would not have been a mutual decision about compatibility.
Jesus clearly tells men to keep marriage contracts and act with fidelity toward their wives. Even more, he talks about not just keeping the rules, honoring the contract, but about how you think about marriage. Be faithful, he says. Honor your commitments to each other. Sometimes we hear about some young man with mental health issues taking this scripture literally and blinding himself or amputating his own hand. That's an extreme response. It reminds us that Jesus isn't about rules -in fact he often criticized those who were. He's about relationship. In that context, Jesus would be saddened by the number of divorces in today's society. The truth is, we are saddened too. Even those of us who are divorced regret the breaking of relationships and the complicating of family life for children. Contemporary divorce can be taken too lightly. It can also be essential for the ongoing health of the people involved. Life is complicated and so are human relationships. I've come to believe that Jesus would prefer that people stay married to each other and make things work. I also believe that when that isn't the healthiest option for people, he'd grieve with us and encourage us to begin again. Learn from your mistakes and do better next time. That happens in so many situations that the church does better to encourage healthy decisions rather than enforcing rules that no longer fit our situations.
That can also be true of the passage about swearing. Jesus isn't talking about colorful vocabulary (although I suspect many of us were raised by mothers who were convinced he was). The swearing Jesus refers to was a way of forming contracts in a verbal society. I swear by the hairs on my head that I will sell repay you this loan. I swear to God that I didn't take your prize goat. Jesus is right that if we're honest and truthful, we don't need to swear by something powerful to prove our point. Even calling on God's name won't make up for deceit. Rather, just tell the truth and let it be. Everything comes back to forming strong communities, and being able to trust each other's words makes community stronger.
Finally, Jesus talks about retribution. Torah limited the impact of revenge by saying if someone blinded you in one eye, you could take one of their eyes, but not both. If someone killed your donkey in a raid, you could take their donkey in repayment, but not slaughter their flock of sheep. In the violent first century the peasants in Jesus' audience were often violated by soldiers and people with power. When you live under oppression, you can't take revenge without making your situation worse. On the other hand, people can't take from you what you give freely. If you are struck on one cheek, offer the other. Suddenly you are no longer the victim but become the one who controls the situation. You respond with dignity rather than fear. If you are conscripted to carry a heavy pack for a mile, go two. Your generosity will cause trouble for the soldier who isn't allowed to make you go two miles, only one. Your generosity will put you in control of the situation rather than being its victim.
Jesus was teaching people how to change the world they lived in by changing themselves. The couldn't overthrow the Empire. They couldn't stand up to the local rulers without making things worse. But they could choose how they thought about themselves and how they responded to the world around them. In the face of violence and oppression, they could become kind, generous, centered. They could look out for each other. They could respect their wives. They could be honest with their neighbors. They could create a world within a world that was different.
Sometimes the church tries to create a "godly" world by making more rules. Don't do this; don't think that; you should always... you should never. I think of the folks I've known who wanted to "fix" education by posting the 10 commandments in the school room, or reform criminals by posting them in the courthouse. Then I remember the bit I read recently who suggested Christians should post the words of Jesus instead: blessed are the poor; blessed are the merciful; blessed are the peacemakers. I have relatively limited experience, but it seems to me that difficult situations don't need more rules; they need more love. When we love and respect one another, when we care about what's going on with one another; when we offer our best to the community, the community rises to the occasion and becomes better.
I can't help but wonder what today's passage has to say about the war happening in the middle east. It was started by a horrible act of terrorism, an act which no one suggests should go unpunished. It appears that the punishment is accomplishing just what Hamas hoped for - pushing peace in the area farther away rather than bringing hope for the future. Twenty-one years ago, I got in a lot of trouble on the first anniversary of the destruction of the World Trade Center by suggesting that war and retribution in response would only prove the terrorists right. That we should do everything we could to prevent another tragedy, but fighting a war would only cost more lives and bring more pain. I humbly suggest, after twenty years of war, that I was right. War didn't make the world better for anyone. War in Israel isn't accomplishing what it's supposed to, either. In a complicated world we have the power to stop some acts of terror, but uncontrolled violence is itself terror. I believe we can find a better way. I wonder who will be brave enough to try. Jesus is asking us to live out of the best impulses of our hearts, and that's a good starting place.
In his book Zen Shorts author Jon Muth retells a story about an old uncle who lived in a simple hut. One day he surprises a robber searching for something to steal (and not finding much). In kindness, the uncle gives the robber his second robe. The robber runs away in confusion.
Later, looking at the beautiful moon rising, the uncle remarks, "Poor man, all I had to give him was my tattered robe. If only I could have given him this wonderful moon." A robber or a friend; an opportunity to cheat or be honest; a victim or a whole person with choices. We get to decide how we will see life and how we will live it. Jesus encourages us to choose wisely.