Luke 18:9-14
The Pharisee in today’s scripture reminds me of the old song that starts “Lord, it’s hard to be humble when you’re perfect in every way.” The Pharisee lists off all the good things that he does – fasting, tithing, keeping all the rules. Those are good things and he should be proud of them. But he spoils it by saying, “unlike all those nasty folks who…” It’s not enough for him to do what’s good, he has to be sure we know he’s better than others who aren’t as compliant with the law.
I think it’s consensus that humility is a good thing and Christians are supposed to be humble. Sometimes we take that too far – that humility requires that we never take credit for good things we do. Or even beyond that, that we never admit we CAN do good things. As kids that meant we were taught not to brag. There’s a difference between bragging and acknowledging our talents. Every one of us is good at some things. It’s not helpful to anyone if we pretend we have no skills or natural abilities. Ask a group to introduce themselves by naming one of their gifts. There will be a lot of hemming and hawing as we try to overcome that “don’t brag” rule. We’re a small enough group that we can try that out. Each one of you can name something you do well. [If you’re reading this, stop right now and say something you do well out loud.]
How does it feel to speak truth about your gifts? In the best of all possible worlds, it would feel great. Hiding our talents doesn’t serve anyone well. In a group we need folks to own up to what they can do to help. It gets the right people in the right jobs. It also keeps the wrong people from having to take on jobs outside their comfort zone. Everyone benefits when we’re honest about what we like to do and what we do well. Humility doesn’t require us to pretend we’re incompetent in order to be nice.
The Pharisee in our story isn’t criticized for doing good things. He’s taken down a notch because he thinks he’s better than everyone else. This story isn’t about honesty, it’s about judging others as inferior. That doesn’t help anyone. If the Pharisee had said, “God I thank you for the opportunity to practice my faith” we wouldn’t be talking about him centuries later. He’s still getting a bad rap after all these years because he thought what he did well made him better than those who did other things well. Difference is important to make our community whole. Some gifts aren’t more valuable than others. All of them matter.
If you want someone to help you organize a dinner, you want to ask me. I’m your girl. If you want art for your wall, you don’t want me anywhere near that project. It would be a disaster. But both dinner and art are good parts of life. One isn’t better than the other.
It’s hard in a time when our country is polarized to remember that each person has important gifts to contribute to the whole. Even in a conversation when we are coming at an issue in vastly different ways, we get to a better end result if we hear from everyone and consider all angles. It’s hard to think of those who disagree with our whole view of the world as important, but they have an equally difficult task when they think of us.
Yesterday we had the first meeting of what may become the Connections group – folks who came together to think about how to make our community and our world better. We talked about issues that matter to us and problems we’d like to solve. There were lots of dreams that you’d recognize. What I heard most often was the hope that we could talk and listen with more open minds. That we could be in conversation with everyone, not just the folks who agree with us on everything. It would make community better if we all felt like we mattered, even if we don’t see everything exactly the same way.
Being able to hear each other starts with setting aside the assumption that we’re right and others are wrong. The Pharisee was a spiritual leader in his town. What would have happened if he’d stepped up to the tax collector and introduced himself? What if he’d said, “You have a really hard job. How is it to be a tax collector?” Or how about if he’d asked, “I spend a lot of time keeping the rules of our faith. Do you? Do they matter to you? Or do they make your life harder?” Would the tax collector have felt like he could be honest? Would he have asked the same questions back, trying to learn about the struggles of being a Pharisee?
Every person has successes and struggles. It’s easy for us to agree that “walking a mile in someone’s shoes” is a good idea. But it’s hard to set aside the judgments that come naturally as we look at folks who seem different from us. Learning to recognize that we view life through a narrow lens and trying to widen the scope of understanding takes practice.
Jesus was always telling people that everyone mattered – rich and poor, employed and beggar, men, women and children. Maybe the most important thing he’s teaching us is that all people have value. Before we see what’s wrong or even just what’s different in each other, we need to look for the value. It’s okay to admit our own value. It’s great to see the gifts in others. We can be grateful for what we can contribute and even more grateful for what we receive from friends and even strangers. Humility isn’t saying we have no worth or nor skills. It’s realizing that the worth and skills of others is just as important as our own. That it takes all of us to make the community complete. And that we have so much to gain from seeing one another with eyes of acceptance and gratitude.