Matthew 5:38-48
This summer we’re reading scripture from The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew (and its counterpart The Sermon on the Plain in Luke). So many familiar sayings come from today’s scripture – turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, love your enemies. Sometimes these scriptures give Christians a reputation for being weak in the face of evil. I want to suggest they are actually a formula for greater strength.
Let’s start with the instructions of Jesus in their first century context. Jesus lived in a country occupied by Rome and full of Roman soldiers. These soldiers could beat people who weren’t obeying, demand they hand over goods or even clothing, or conscript them to carry heavy loads. While the actions described in this scripture are unusual to us, they were common to the original hearers. But even Rome put restrictions on what soldiers could demand and exceeding those limits brought punishments. So if a soldier requires your shirt and you give him also your cloak, he’s in trouble. If he asks you to carry his pack a mile and you go two, he’s violated the rules. Often when people of higher authority wanted to discipline a slave or underling by beating them, they would strike their face with the back of the hand. This indicated that they were superior. If you have been struck in this way and turn the opposite cheek for a second blow, the abuser would have to strike you with an open hand. But to do that infers equality. It places a dilemma on the one giving the blows – admit equality or back down. Already the one being beaten has won that match.
These stories are about situations in which people are rendered powerless by those who control them and in each they turn the situation around and without violence get some measure of control. This is nonviolent protest against an unjust system. Jesus isn’t saying “give in.” He’s showing people how to make their own choices at times when it seems they have no options. He’s giving them strength in the face of oppression.
The same is true about the teaching on loving our enemies. Jesus is right that it’s relatively easy to love people who love us and treat us with respect and high regard. Whether it’s family, and employer, our neighbors – we like folks who like us. Jesus points out that there’s not a lot of virtue in responding in kind to our friends.
Loving enemies is harder. How are we to love those who malign us, argue with us, cheat us, or gossip about us behind our backs? How do we love people who take advantage of our generosity or our good will? How do we love those who do horrible things – murder, theft, abuse – or hold opinions we believe are harmful to all society? Most of us just never pull that off.
Let’s start with thinking about what “love” means in this context. Usually we see love as “like” on steroids – we really, really, really like the people we love. That’s what it means when we’re falling in love with someone. It can be what it means when we think of our love for family – folks we’d be willing to die for even. Jesus isn’t necessarily talking about that kind of love here. We can love some pretty undesirable characters without liking them at all.
Remember Jesus told us that God is love. We believe that God loves every person, every creature, with a vast and unending love. We are loved! That’s because such love is the very fabric of all being. I’m pretty convinced it’s the energy vibration of all that is. Love is pervasive to all existence. So even those folks we find totally unacceptable are loved, just like us.
This love isn’t related to liking behaviors or ideas. God can love Vladamir Putin who is murdering thousands of Ukrainians as we speak. God can love the young men who have created mass murder in terrible ways. God can love your neighbor who always puts up yard signs for the party you object to in elections. God IS love but God isn’t pleased by folks who harm others or create chaos and damage in the world.
In the same way, we can separate our foundational love for everyone from our preference for positive actions and attitudes. We can love the person while objecting to their behavior. In fact, there are countless examples of people whose love toward another helped change that behavior. The Jewish couple in Omaha who showed love to a Neo Nazi until he changed his mind about Jews comes to mind. The capitol rioter who apologized to police this week is another example. It doesn’t always have magical results, but love can be healing in difficult relationships.
Even more, showing love toward others can heal us. You may have someone in your life who’s treated you badly. They may still be at it. Loving that person doesn’t mean you have to spend time with them. It doesn’t mean you have to like them or ignore the harm they do toward you. But if you can separate in your own mind their obnoxious behavior from the person they are, and then see them as a beloved child of God, you can diminish the pain you feel. What they are doing is wrong, but seeing them through the eyes of love can keep you from obsessing about all the ways they hurt you. You may not stop them, but you CAN stop the hurt. That’s because you get to choose how you respond to them. You get to decide if their belligerence is going to get to you or roll off of you. You can de-escalate a difficult situation by refusing to engage in it.
Jesus lived in dangerous times. Most of the people who came to hear him faced situations daily that could result in their own harm or death. Teaching them to de-escalate by touching into a depth of love had the potential to save their lives. Our times are usually less dangerous, at least for us, but they are still difficult. There are many ways we can be triggered by actions or beliefs which seem harmful to us. When we embrace Jesus’ call to love, we increase the chance that we can connect with people who disagree with us. We give ourselves a way to find peace when someone wants to rile us up. We can respond to difficult conversations from a place of calm and control rather than shouting back.
It takes practice to turn the other cheek or go the extra mile. It takes practice to love our enemies. But these practices give us strength in situation which would otherwise disempower us. These practices give us control over ourselves and sometimes over an entire situation. Over time, with intention and repetition, we find that we really can love all people – even the most difficult. Over time we find a bottom line that says we have no enemies. We still have people who push our buttons. We still find people whose behavior needs correction. But we have no enemies because everyone is a person we can love.