Mark 7:24-30
There’s an assumption in Christianity that God is unchanging: the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. That’s a comfort when we want assurance that God is faithful to us, ever present. It’s wrong, I think, if it means that God is fixed. God begins completely perfect and never changes. Today’s scripture clearly refutes that, if we see Jesus as God present. In this story, Jesus changes his mind. He’s been travelling. Everywhere he goes people flock to him, wanting something – usually healing. He’s burned out and wants a rest, so he travels off the beaten path – to Tyre. He stays in a home where no one is expecting him; you can almost hear his sigh of relief when the door closes and the crowd is gone. Then here comes this woman, begging him to heal her daughter of a disturbance. Jesus frankly is rude to her: You’re not even Jewish. Why should I help you? Leave me alone, you dog. But she is spunky back at him: even dogs get crumbs from the table. It works! You can see Jesus thinking, “I like this woman. She has nerve. Maybe I can help someone other than the Jews. Why not?” And he cures her daughter. Not only is this a nice story for the daughter who is healed, it’s a pivotal moment for a movement which eventually focusses no just on Judaism but on the whole world. Jesus becomes more inclusive in this encounter. Good news for us gentiles!
Today’s word is flexibility. This story is a moment in which Jesus shows flexibility – able to take in new information, change his mind, and behave differently. It made me think about times I’ve changed my mind about important things. I suspect you have done the same. My mind-changes include realizing that gender identity isn’t only male/female but much more complicated, and that I need to be on the side of LGBTQ rights. Or realizing that the world’s religions have more in common than they do differences and we can hear truth from one another. What are some of the shifts you have made in your thinking over time?...
Many of us were raised by parents who wanted to teach us right from wrong. Unfortunately, that didn’t always come with nuance. In my world it was “right” to be American, Christian (Presbyterian version), Republican. It was also “right” to support civil rights and befriend the Jewish students who opposed saying the Lord’s Prayer in public school every morning. You’ll recognize that there were benefits and drawbacks on my list. It’s part of growing up to be able to say, “Maybe I should re-evaluate my list of absolutes.” But that doesn’t make it easy to make significant changes.
Tara Brach’s reading reminds me that people often fear change, partly because we’re not sure we’re up to it. There’s comfort in staying the same. We don’t have to take a risk or figure out new ways of thinking or acting. Becoming flexible is an act of trust – trusting ourselves to be able to grow and trusting the rest of the world to help us. There’s freedom in flexibility, opening ourselves to new information, new people, new possibilities.
I wonder how we would describe flexibility as a positive attribute?
Being open to new information is part of it. We’ve recently lived through a few years of new awareness – becoming woke. We woke up to the ways systems privilege race and class and education. We’ve learned to recognize that our assumptions about the world aren’t the only ones. Maya Angelou reminds us that “when we know better, we do better.” We’re receiving more information than was available to us before. We’re learning to do better.
Seeing the world through others’ eyes is a part of flexibility. That’s how we get new information, sometimes. Our Community Fund puts us next to people who’s reality is very different from our own, and shows us the humanity behind poverty. Knowing many refugees shows us the inequality of the world right now.
Compromise is an important part of flexibility. I’ve heard many folk expressing nostalgia for times when government was about compromise – give and take that got us to a better place for everyone. Here’s a simple example from my week – I had to decide whether I wanted to be right about the way I took minutes for the quilt guild or I wanted to be friends with the people who wanted to make corrections. I chose friendship. I wouldn’t have always done that. People grow.
Relationships matter in flexibility. We bend a little in deference to others. Fifty yeas ago there was a big to-do about truth not being relative – truth is truth and there’s only one right answer. At the time I thought truth wasn’t relative, it was relational. When you are in relationship with another person, you listen to their viewpoint, you hear their story, and you realize there are many right answers in complex situations and each of you might have an important piece of a way forward.
If it’s good to be flexible, is there ever a time not to be? I think Jesus gives us a hint about that. What matters most is the people involved. He healed the woman’s daughter, even though she wasn’t Jewish, because he cared about her humanity. Flexibility is good, but there are red lines that shouldn’t be crossed. People shouldn’t be harmed. Everyone should be treated with respect and dignity. It’s ok to say that some behaviors aren’t ok when humanity is paying a price. I love the image of the people in Minneapolis singing to ICE agents: It’s OK to change your mind. And I love that they are doing their best to keep ICE agents from harming their neighbors. They are showing us how to say “no” but still keep lines of communication open. To say “no” to actions while keeping the door open to human connection.